I’ve asked my children this numerous times over the years when they are down on themselves in one way or another and believing something that God never intended for them to hold onto. It may be that the words of others have pierced their heart, or it could simply be a comparison they’ve set up in their minds based on what their eyes see. Full disclosure here, I have a twelve-foot thousand-pound mama bear that roars within me when I see my kids hurting…especially when it is at the hands (words) of another. I have to wrangle that beast in and subdue her before she tears through an entire village and does some major damage. It is important that you do not have a picture painted of me that is inaccurate. I am not the calm, quiet, disperse the situation with some sweet words from Jesus type of gal. At least that’s not how I feel when the beast within me stands up. I may be overexaggerating a bit, and although I feel this way on the inside thank goodness God is bigger than that beast and what comes out of me isn’t quite as loud and scary.
Who told you that?
Several weeks ago, I’d reminded one of my kids of this phrase when words from a few friends had been deflating. (I know, right!?!? Friends. I really need the face in palm emoji right here!) We talked through a very personal promise God had spoken to me years ago with regards to this specific child of mine, and how when something is heard (or thought) that causes hurt or negativity the response should be “who told you that?” and follow it up with what they know God says about them and what He has promised. The offense may be audible words spoken by someone as they were in this particular instance, but scripture reminds us in Ephesians 6:12 that “…our struggle is not against flesh and blood…”. We can’t blame everything on satan, but since Paul goes on in the following verses to explain the armor we should wear, it is clear that we indeed have a very formidable foe.
A couple of days after the conversation, in the early hours before the sun rose, I sat at my desk praying and leaning into God regarding my health. My extreme fatigue and brain fog limits my time in the word as well as just about everything in my life. Exhaustion sets in quickly, but this particular day it was already heavy upon me and I had only been out of bed about 45 minutes. The caffeine pill I’d taken should have been coursing through my veins with the energy I needed to at least get through a couple of hours. My study that morning landed me in 2 Kings 23 right smack in the middle of a story about King Josiah and there was something I just couldn’t wrap my brain around. I said a quick prayer for insight and God gave it to me within seconds by looking at the same story in a different book of the bible. As I was thanking him my prayer turned into sadness birthed out of my limitations with regards to the length of time I could study. I wanted more of Him, more clarity like I had just had, but mentally it was not going to happen. Not that particular morning. Through tears I began to question and explain to God why this short amount of time with him wasn’t enough and that I needed to be studying more. My expectations for myself are extremely high and to have to walk away after such a small amount of time in the word frustrated me to no end. It felt like failure.
Who told you that?
The phrase I’d encouraged my own children to ask themselves in an effort to help them fight the battle in their minds was now being asked of me by God himself. Who told me I’m a failure? Who told me my time with God should be more? Who told me one revelation for the day wasn’t good enough? Who told me that?
My prayer changed from a self-centered cry to one of thanksgiving. Thank you, God, that I had almost an hour of time with you and for the revelation and clarity you provided within that hour. Thank you for perspective and helping me filter my thoughts through your word, and for your grace in a whisper. Thank you for your exact words in Genesis 3:11 “…Who told you that…” in response to Adam when he told God he was afraid because he was naked. You see, when God had last spoken to Adam, he was indeed naked but that was by God’s perfect design. God didn’t ask Adam because He was unaware of what had transpired, and God didn’t ask me in the early hours of that day not long ago because He had missed the memo of what was going on. Honestly, I can’t be sure of all of the reasons why these words were included in scripture, but I am sure that God doesn’t waste words and so there is something to be learned from each of them. His questioning of Adam has helped me parent but also helped me fight through my own thoughts and I’m hoping that those same four words will help you as well! So much of my mind game is me listening to words that aren’t truth. God knew this would be a struggle for me, and if I’m guessing many of you as well so I firmly believe the inclusion of the phrase in Genesis was for more than just Adam’s benefit.
How often do we look at our lives and listen to satan’s soundtrack?
Probably more than we realize or even want to admit. After the situation with my child and then my own conversation with God when he repeated his words to me, I shared with my bible study group. We are a group of 5 who meet weekly (except for occasionally when life requires us elsewhere) and have walked through death, divorce, parenting, and everything in between. We are accountability for one another and a beautiful picture of the gift of community and the church God describes in scripture. A few days after sharing with the group, I was wrestling with a decision that was so muddled by my own thoughts it was unbelievable. And here’s the deal…it wasn’t a decision that even HAD to be made! There are lots of details packed in this one but here’s what you need to know…it’s about a new car, I was overthinking, and it was eating up a lot of my time. I sent a lighthearted text to one of my friends from the bible study group about the struggle, what I was thinking and why…which included possible judgment by others as to how we spend our money. I basically was sharing with her how much I irritate myself! Her response was simple and left me in tears as God’s words often do. It never gets old realizing just how much he loves me and cares for me, and when he takes the time to speak to me it overwhelms my heart. Every. Single. Time. She told me she felt like she needed to share with me something I had taught her…
Who told you that?
So I began to apply it to the situation that had kept my mind occupied for way too many minutes of lots of weeks. Who told you others would judge? Who told you to worry about THAT? Who told you that mattered? Who told you any of that!?!?!?
If it isn’t God, then let it go. Concern yourself instead with what He says about you. If Jesus himself refuted satan by quoting scripture (Matthew 4) then we should take note. Letting it go is easier said than done, I know…believe me. Ellie Holcomb’s Fighting Words taught me so much about how to fight with God’s words. When I’m sitting in “I’m exhausted and can’t do this anymore. 2 years is a long time of feeling like this”, what comes out of my mouth should be “…but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary…” (Isaiah 40:31). OR “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness”. (2 Corinthians 12:9). And here’s a little secret…I do NOT have either of those memorized word for word with their scripture reference neatly tucked away in my brain. Nopesie. I am not that girl who is good at scripture memory BUT I am good at using notecards and writing it all down so I can flip through and find what I need. I’m also a google expert. Google knows a lot! Whether you are great at memorization or have to flip through a stack of notes cards is irrelevant. What IS important is that you stand and fight with God’s words.
To the woman walking in the reality of a spouse pulling off years of cheating and thinking you look like such a fool. “Who told you that?”.
To the girl in her early twenties who feels she needs to be skinnier/prettier because of what she sees on social media. “Who told you that?”.
To the athlete doing their best while being beat down and feeling like they “suck”. “Who told you that?”.
To the adult who feels like a failure because their life doesn’t look like they thought it would. “Who told you that?”.
To the one who doesn’t get invited and feels like something must be wrong with them. “Who told you that?”.
And when you feel like you’ve stepped too far away AGAIN and God surely is frustrated and weary of your ways. “Who told you that?”.
I promise you the answer is not God.
If you are reading this, I am praying that these four words straight from God’s mouth stick with you. Use them, remind yourself of them, and challenge those around you with them.
If you aren’t sure “who told you that” or which scripture would help you stand and fight, I would love the opportunity to help.
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