We arrived at the hospital, got checked in and settled in her room. An MRI was scheduled but we’d have to wait an undetermined amount of time due to the large number of traumas admitted that day as well as one of their imaging machines being down. We were in no rush. You might recall, we’d gotten really fantastic at the waiting game. In the meantime, we were visited by several different professionals. One doctor introduced herself and explained she would be on the scene and prepared if the preferred procedure wasn’t going to work and a shunt had to be used. Not our first choice in the way to drain her brain, but it was a possibility none the less. As the procedure was described in mild detail, the old Sonya…the one from just about a week prior…may have cried out in fear to God. But this Sonya had taken a seat on the peace plane and continued flying. I’m telling you, it was unreal. I rested in His sovereignty, and whatever had to happen in that operating room had to happen. I knew her doctor was praying, we were praying, and God was hearing. That was a promise I held on to.
She was taken late that night for the imaging, and we were told not to expect them too early in the morning because of all the traumas I mentioned earlier. Our case would be later in the day.
At 5:30 am, transport came to tell us they would be taking her to surgery.
We weren’t given time to even think about it, just whisked away and boy was I ever thankful. I knew God was all over this and his plan trumped a man-made surgery schedule. We walked down long cold halls where the wind seemed to blow. There was an elevator involved as well as some maneuvering of two bulky beds to fit on the same ride. As I watched, I imagined the test to be a transporter might be a bit more rigorous than one may think. As they prepared her for surgery we met the doctor’s nurse practitioner and the anesthesiologist. Now, this was literally the first person we’d encountered that was less than a blessing. I mean that in the kindest way. Bedside manners just were not his strong suit. The nurse came over after he left and apologized for him but also shared basically in spite of his attitude that we had the best there is. It was as if someone forgot to shut the valve of “God’s best” off. We were now three for three in this game.
I watched as a team of doctors, nurses, and students ushered her out of the area.
I honestly can’t remember my thoughts; I just know that I felt held. Just high enough above it all. Did you know that eagles know a storm is coming, and while all other birds are fleeing and looking for safety eagles actually fly into the storm? Yep. True story. They use the pressures of the storm to glide higher, with wings locked thanks to their unique build, and rise higher than the storm in a matter of seconds without having to use their own energy. You probably know where I am going next, but I really REALLY love this. Isaiah 40:31 promises “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” The educator in me gets super giddy right here. God doesn’t waste words, and so His design of eagles and their appearance within this scripture is everything. The strength we need to face our storms head on can only be found in God. When our hope is in the Lord, through his power we are able to soar above the storm even as it continues to rage. When I say I felt held, an eagle soaring above the storm is the perfect imagery. (Thanks for indulging my teachery moment. I really miss being in the classroom with my little friends!)
We were shown to a large and very empty waiting room. The number of guests allowed were limited and there was a regulator sitting at a desk by the door, and let me tell you she understood her assignment! It was just Shawn and I, Shawn’s parents, and a close friend of mine that circumvented the rules because of her occupation in the medical field. We sat for a long while before the phone rang and the regulator let us know that they had just started the procedure. They had taken Addie from us at about 7:20 and the call came around 9:15 that they had begun. The doctor had explained some mapping that had to go on prior to the actual procedure and thinking back now about the scariness of a minor mistake during that time hits me differently. I’m not currently soaring on those wings and so thinking through all of the details as I remember last summer brings about so many emotions…but overwhelmingly I am reminded of the goodness of God.
We hadn’t been waiting long when Chris walked in. Chris is a friend from years ago. 22 to be exact. Our friendship was forged in church and represents some of the sweetest adult years we’ve enjoyed. He was there with his wife who was also in the hospital so the regulator let him in and he prayed with us. As we continued to wait Shawn’s dad spoke casually with a physician he knew who happened to come in to update one of his patient’s family. He went and checked on Addie and returned to update us. The drain had been created and was doing it’s job so they would not be placing a shunt. Then he continued…
It’s in a really cool part deep in the brain and if you go too far there is a major vessel blah blah blah.
O.k. buddy. You were helpful in letting us know she’s alive and that the drain is draining, but know your audience. (I’m really kidding because we were so very thankful he checked on her and updated us. We absolutely saw this as God holding us and meeting us in our wait.)
About 20 minutes later I received a text from a friend whose colleague was actually in on the case to let us know they had just finished and everything went well. God again met us in our waiting to reassure us and put our hearts at rest. At a time our minds could have ran wild and been consumed with what ifs, God showed up through family and friends to walk through the morning with us. Held above the storm. Not too much time passed and Addie’s doctor came in with pictures and explanations. He was pleased so we were pleased…mostly. They weren’t able to determine from the surgery what closed off the aqueduct (that’s the medical term for the drain), and I really needed that answer as insurance that we wouldn’t find ourselves in this dire situation again. But for now, a successful surgery was what we had and I would rejoice in that and trust God with the rest. We went back to gather Addie’s things from her room to relocate to the ICU. I’d been updating friends and family through texts, which by the way made for an incredible tool to smooth out the wrinkles in my memory. Time stamps and details were helpful but reading back through the care and concern of those who reached out to us and prayed us through was a sweet stroll. Before we even got to her new room a friend was waiting there to pray over us. Another precious gift God orchestrated during such a restricted time in hospitals.
The next few hours held so much sweetness. If you know Addie, she’s a laugh waiting to happen, but sprinkle in some legal high-powered drugs and a sister who also carries humor as a strong suit and we were rolling. I didn’t notice it at first, but a sweet soul had braided her hair that was next to the incision. It may have been absolutely for practical reasons and a means to keep her hair out of the way, but let me tell you how this momma…who was looking for God everywhere…saw the braid. I saw such an extravagant story of God’s love. On one side was a white rectangular bandage as long as my hand stapled into her head, and on the other was this perfect French braid. One told of how God moved mountains to get Addie to this point and orchestrated the very best care in doing so. The other showed a God who loves us in small and beautiful ways. She wasn’t able to do much with her hair, but that braid brought so much beauty and removed the need to “fix” it.
Our God is the same powerful God that parted seas, but his love in small ways is also extraordinary.
This story isn’t quite over, and that funny girl with the perfect braid turned sour later in the day when pain settled in and the meds caused anger and irritation she just couldn’t hide. We still had so much to learn last summer but one thing we knew, and with each day it became more evident, God was in control with a purpose and he loved us with perfection. His perfection doesn’t equal easy or even desired when our eyes are on the circumstance wrapped in our own understanding. What we must settle on is this. He is absolutely everything we need in every situation we find ourselves in, and only He knows precisely what that need is. And many times, we just need to lock our wings and let God be God.
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