I’ve been digging through my stones which look a lot like texts, scribbles, and highlights. My system was not streamlined at the time…perhaps comparable to the referral system the doctor’s had going on. There are notes in my bible, in journals, in books I was reading at the time, and enough texts from friends and family to fill a Sterilite tub. You know the ones you use to pack away Christmas decorations? One of those.
The days were dragging by like molasses.
The week I had waited for an appointment turned into almost two. That’s a lot of minutes filled with phone calls, excuses, I’ll call you backs, and a daughter who was living life through headaches asking every single day, “have you heard from the doctor yet?”. To say it was difficult would be a gross understatement BUT, I am thankful for those minutes. I really am. Time seemed to be standing still and yet I waited with a peace. Ok, so not EVERY minute was peaceful and there were lots of tears, but I had a knowing down deep that God was in control and there had to be purpose in the wait. Even so, I was so very weary from the silence and frustrated from not being able to answer Addie’s question each day about an appointment. She had a senior trip planned but had a gut feeling that started weeks prior that she didn’t need to be going and so she cancelled. Each time I went online to gather ideas for a family vacation, I heard God saying “wait”. I knew deep down without knowing details that this situation was big, really big, but because I could see God in Addie’s discernment and in the “wait”, I had peace in his control. Then fear slammed its way in when the headaches grew into near passing out one morning. Whatever was going on seemed to be picking up steam and there wasn’t a single professional that appeared to be concerned.
My sweet friend Amanda sent an email that changed the trajectory of the story.
She had been keeping up with the drama, checking in and praying for us. I was so beaten down I no longer cared what system the doctor was affiliated with. We just needed a referral for the MRI so that we could get to answers. It was a Friday so I expected we’d have to wait the weekend out before hearing from them, whoever “them” was. I wasn’t clear on where Amanda’s email was being sent to, but I didn’t care. At all. Not one bit. I had released all those worries into the hands of God. And guess what? I got a call back THAT SAME DAY! They took our information and said they’d call back next week (it was a holiday weekend). They were obviously going to be working us in and needed some time to find the best spot. We were professional waiter outers at this point. What was one more weekend? (I’m totally kidding, but what other choice did we have?) Based on the quickness in their phone call in relation to Amanda reaching out to them, I had full confidence that I would indeed get that phone call. And I did. The date of June 7th was secured with a neuro opthamologist. In the meantime, the original elusive referral that traveled through “the system” like a relentless ninja was somehow captured at last. An appointment date of June 17th, still over 2 weeks away, was set with a pediatric neurologist. So now the dilemma was no longer an appointment time, but which doctor should we trust? We knew nothing about either specialist. After much conversation and prayer we decided to just keep both appointments and decide which doctor we felt most comfortable with. We knew the earlier date would get us to an MRI quicker and so that enabled us to breathe with a little less weight on our chests in the days to come. God’s faithfulness in putting Amanda in our path even before we knew we would need her connections was recorded that day. And what an added bonus that I’ve also been able to call her friend for several years. Not only had He gifted me with a treasured friendship, but she was positioned perfectly in her occupation to get Addie to the help she needed…and quick!
“When Moses hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up…”
Despite our circumstances and the storm all around us, I continued to look for God each day. I was actually working through a few studies simultaneously and one of them parked me in Exodus chapter 17 reading the story of a fierce nomadic tribe of Amalekites attacking the Israelites while they were in the wilderness. During battle, Moses stood on the top of a hill with the staff of God in his hands raised up. As long as Moses’ hands were lifted Joshua and the Israelites were winning, but as soon as his arms grew weary and he lowered them the Amalekites would gain ground. Moses’ staunch ally Hur along with Aaron, Moses’ brother, worked together to hold his hands up when they became weak and dropped. Joshua overcame the Amalekite army as Moses, with the help of his friends, was able to stand with hands raised.
I don’t know about you, but I think we all need friends like Aaron and Hur.
I’d already dissected the battle story very recently in one study but was led back to the same place in scripture and was reading the exact verse where they were lifting his hands as my phone rang. It was Aaron and Hur…only much prettier, less hairy, and her name was Courtney. Let me give you a bit of background on this friend of mine. Our friendship began around two decades ago, and she actually saved a very adamant 2-year-old Addie Claire (this was her given name and what everyone called her until she decided in middle school to drop the Claire) who insisted on taking off her floaties only to re-enter a pool and go under without being noticed. Once we realized Addie was under water Courtney had some catlike reflexes, jumped in the water and scooped her up. Addie told the story for years about how Courtney saved her life, and she really did. So for God to use her on this day holds even more value for me. As I listened to her ask how we were doing and the words “we’re praying for you” broke the barrier of her lips and traveled across the phone, my tears fell like a heavy rain on dry and thirsty land. I knew God was lifting my hands through Courtney because I was weak and tired. My prayers had begun to sound like a broken record. I was drained emotionally and physically from the past few weeks but God was beginning to show me just how important friends holding my hands high could be. He was letting me know that He not only was faithful but oh so very good in telling us to pray for one another.
We had a few more days filled with lots of minutes to wait, but answers were on the horizon and they had a due date. I stayed determined to see God’s faithfulness in those minutes, for myself… but also for Addie. It was not lost on me that God was writing a story with her. I was walking through those days as a child of God leaning on him like never before, but also as a parent tasked with teaching so much about him and his ways. All the years of singing the words “Jesus loves me” to a little girl was hitting life head on. But the words could not be truer through this story and she was about to feel it in a way I could have never arranged. I was sharing God’s love evident through my friends, but my words that may have fallen short in one way or another were about to sink deep into her heart and penetrate even the most hidden places of fear and doubt.
Jesus loves me, this I know,
for the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong;
They are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.
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