May. It’s a month that cradles lots of crazy and has for as long as we’ve had kids in school. If you are a parent, you just know. There are a million and one things to keep up with and attend and do and buy, so much so that by the time June arrives you feel like you’ve just barely survived with one shoe on and shredded clothes hanging off like a scene from The Walking Dead. And if you happen to have a senior, no amount of tacos will resurrect you until at least July! Once you’ve outlasted a May or two, you make a plan for how to navigate the next one with more success. When the calendar rolls and Spring has sprung, you remember years passed and brace yourself for the chaos that’s sure to ensue…only this time you feel a bit more prepared because you have some experience under your belt and have hopefully made mental notes. Your memory serves you and so the mayhem of May is subdued. All of the madness remains, you just become better equipped for survival.
This year, May slid in a bit different.
I knew it, but I was trying to NOT know it. For weeks God has been gently preparing me and leading me to many scriptures about remembering, and how He commanded this on numerous occasions. The Hebrew word for remember is zakar which means to remember, recall, call to mind. It’s not like flipping through a bunch of sticky notes to find something or just happening upon it, but it’s active and engaging. In Genesis 8:1 “…God remembered Noah…” does not suggest that God had forgotten all about him and then suddenly the thought of an ark floating about on an endless ocean popped into his head. He was focused on Noah and acting upon it by drying up the flood waters. So when Addie mentioned last night that her contacts were bothering her and she needs to get new ones, I knew it was time. As my body tensed with a rush of emotion, my soul felt held. And I remembered.
Psalm 112:7 They do not fear bad news, they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.
It was May 16th 2021. Typical for the month, all the things were happening. End of year awards, baseball, teacher appreciation, end of your gifts and video for my students, and NJHS induction just to list a few. This year had an extra helping of nuts because Addie was a senior which meant graduation parties, graduation gifts for friends, and upcoming senior trips begging attention. This was the year my obedience to God’s word “go” was happening so there was a final cleaning up of my classroom along with all the emotions that encased it. We were in San Angelo, TX for a baseball tournament and I had gone to the convenience store across the street between games to get some snacks. As I was driving back to the field and listening to KLove I heard about a man who was always smiling. When questioned how he could always be so happy he referenced Psalm 112:7. I thought that was a great perspective to have and so in the notes on my phone I recorded the scripture not thinking too much about it. The next day, Addie went to the optometrist to get a yearly exam required for contacts. She had *accidentally* thrown a contact away and was just a few days past the year mark so a doctor would need to see her in order to renew her prescription. Before Addie arrived back home, Shawn’s phone rang. I listened as he talked to the receptionist and could tell something wasn’t right. I felt a knot crowding out the space in my stomach. The words stung as they rolled off Shawn’s tongue.
Optic nerve swelling.
That knot that was just threatening to overtake my stomach had now consumed it and was moving on to the surrounding organs. It traveled up into my throat and started leaking from my eyes. I knew this wasn’t good news but wasn’t sure exactly what it meant. As Shawn relayed their urgency in getting Addie to a neuro ophthalmologist, I remembered. “They do not fear bad news, they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.” When fear and worry could have crippled me, God had gone before and prepared me, prepared us. And so we would remember in the days to come, and we would act upon the scripture written so many years ago and yet still alive and being whispered to us today. We would call to mind as in the Hebrew word zakar, and we would cling to those words.
There are many reasons God commands us to remember over and over in scripture, and they are all for our own good. We were about to learn this firsthand.
To be continued…
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